The Hour of the Wolf

[LorettaYoung]

The Hour of the Wolf (edit 2)

Fog engulfs the lonely shack,
inside, a trembling man in black
kneels sobbing, at a cold steel cross
repenting, of a Kingdom lost.
He's brought his baggage of despair,
dressed to kill, in a suit of hair.
This wolf has supernatural flair,
to tear the baggage of despair,
now free, invades the musty air.

The man begins to pace,
and pace,
his heartbeat is a losing race.i might would have used grace instead. I think the meanings are similar, and I like the alliteration with gall.
His stomach bleeds acidic gall
exploding onto floor and wall, wall and gall don't work for me
his head spins and races another reason to get rid of "race"
to memories and faces,
as he paces
and paces
on the shadows
of the vomit stained floor.

He suffers from the tearing claws
the pain of unrelenting jaws,
of the wolf who awaits, [a wolf keeps it flowing better. I assume this is something to do with werewolf lore, certainly there's more than one [/b]
for a fearful weeping place,
now sucks his living breath,
his will:
The hour of the wolf,
is meant to kill.

ohhhh, part of the story is missing. The best part.

The clock on the wall, it
ticks,
ticks
ticks
approaching dawn.
Unknowing of the violent storm
a ray of light intrudes
to shine upon,
a battered shell of man
sprawled across a chair:
The hour of the wolf
the depth of living hell
and our despair.


The Hour of the Wolf (edit 1)

Dense fog,
engulfs the lonely shack.
A man in black repents his loss
sobbing at a cold steel cross.
The suitcase he brings,
full only with despairing things.
Despair dressed in a suit of hair,
the wolf needs no human flair
to tear the suitcase of despair,
now free to fill the musty air.
His stomach bleeds acidic gall
exploding on the floor and walls.
His head spins and races,
to memories and faces,
as he paces
and paces,
among the shadows
of the blood red vomit stained floor.
He suffers from the tearing claws,
the clenching unrelenting jaws
of the wolf who crouches,
in uninvited places;
to occupy once clean spaces
now sucks his living breath,
the life of him, his will:
This hour of the wolf
is meant to kill.

The clock on the wall, it
ticks
ticks
ticks
approaching dawn.
END?( I have been encouraged to end on the repetitive theme, therefore setting the last scene?)
Unknowing of the violent storm,
a ray of light intrudes
to shine upon,
a battered shell of man
sprawled across a chair.
The hour of the wolf;
the depth and living hell,
and our despair.


The Hour of the Wolf (original version)

Deadly quiet
at the lonesome shack.
The darkest hours from which
there's no way back.
Deep in the woods
the suitcase he brings,
full only with despairing things;
no rest for him,
even in,
this quiet lonely place.
There is no exit from
no place to run,
despair dressed in a suit of hair,
the wolf crouches in his lair,
razor sharp, his tearing claws
and dripping clenching
unrelenting jaws,
the wolf it needs no human flair
the tear the suitcase of despair
let free engulfs the musty air
lSurreal voices pierce his ears,
to fuel the fires of his fears,
his stomach bleeds acidic gall
exploding on the floor and wall;
his head begins to spin and race,
to dreaded memories and faces,
as he paces,
and paces,
among the shadows
on the blood red vomit stained floor
the hour of the wolf has come
again to him,
who in such lonely places
cannot win, nor
erase the wicked claws
the biting faces,
of the wolf who crouches
in uninvited places,
to occupy once clean spaces,
now sucks his living breath
the life of him, his will:
this hour of the wolf is meant to kill,
the clock up on the wall, it
ticks,
ticks,
ticks
approaching dawn
unknowing of the violent storm
a ray of light intrudes
to shine upon
a battered shell of man
sprawled across a chair.
The hour of the wolf,
the depth and living hell
of our despair.

---

Hi Q; Thanks for commenting and your help. Of course the hearts race refers to tachycardia which is common for despair; and you're right about using race too much; just am wondering if grace fits: "his heartbeat is a loosing grace": not sure if it's what I'm getting at in the physical manifestations of despair, but would like to hear other opinions.
Gall is one of the things the stomach produces in distress and is very volitile; can you tell me why wall and gall don't work; I do need to learn. Thanks for replying. Best. Loretta