05-22-2014, 01:23 PM
Hi Brownlie,
this seems unfinished - what is the character going to do now with this shrouded rat carcass? How does this corpse lift the ghastly pall? Is this moth eaten sheet significant? I was left wanting more. Perhaps some kind of ritual with the rat corpse to drive away the ghostly squeaking? My uncle used to nail crow corpses to the trees to scare away the crows from his garden - perhaps you had something like that in mind? I dunno - just seems that you could expand on this to me. I liked what you've got so far tho... Marianne
this seems unfinished - what is the character going to do now with this shrouded rat carcass? How does this corpse lift the ghastly pall? Is this moth eaten sheet significant? I was left wanting more. Perhaps some kind of ritual with the rat corpse to drive away the ghostly squeaking? My uncle used to nail crow corpses to the trees to scare away the crows from his garden - perhaps you had something like that in mind? I dunno - just seems that you could expand on this to me. I liked what you've got so far tho... Marianne