05-19-2014, 09:18 AM
The hour of the wolf has come,
Many of the simple lines like this are working.
again to him,
who in such lonely places,
cannot win, nor
erase the wicked claws,
This comes close. I'm not sure about it yet.
the biting faces
of the wolf who crouches
in uninvited places,
This is another simple thing that works, and that I like.
to occupy once clean spaces:
now sucks his living breath
the life of him, his will
this hour of the wolf
is meant to kill.
Throughout the poem I come across these seemingly simple phrases that I like and that will work in this poem.
If only you could better express the rest of it.
Many of the simple lines like this are working.
again to him,
who in such lonely places,
cannot win, nor
erase the wicked claws,
This comes close. I'm not sure about it yet.
the biting faces
of the wolf who crouches
in uninvited places,
This is another simple thing that works, and that I like.
to occupy once clean spaces:
now sucks his living breath
the life of him, his will
this hour of the wolf
is meant to kill.
Throughout the poem I come across these seemingly simple phrases that I like and that will work in this poem.
If only you could better express the rest of it.