Under the Porch Light

[ellajam]

Thank you! I needed at least one more point of view.

Regarding outrageous/gorgeous, you helped me to see that I could find two words with -ly endings that rhyme and mean the same thing -- with the second one being lovely or comely. I'll definitely work on that.

Yeah, the shawl is part of the cliche that I'm so concerned about. "Like the tapestry held to our chins" -- that just came to me. I wonder if anyone ever calls their woven blankets tapestries. The dictionary says "a fabric consisting of a warp upon which colored threads are woven by hand to produce a design, often pictorial, used for wall hangings, furniture coverings, etc."

I don't think of tapestries for warmth.

You don't seem concerned that the overall meaning of the poem might be cliched.

That would be like saying love, hate, war, joy, despair are too cliched to write about. IMO it's how you write about them that makes the poem fresh or stale.

I didn't realize that the rhythm bounces around so much (you meant the rhythm, didn't you?); I'll take a look at that.

I meant meter, though again, I'm no expert. Something about the structure of the poem made me want it. It may just be me.