Sleeping Tomb

[ralex003]

I'm already dead,
I'm just trying to rise now.
The wind surrounds me
and howls for my surrender.
I succumbed countless moons ago,
The world too bleak, my soul too meek.

Landless peasants lived a life
I couldn't live So, does this mean the speaker yearns to live as landless peasants? This line doesn't seem to serve a purpose.
Their souls intact, their fight not crushed.
I mourn the lifeless body,
staggered across the seaside cliffs.
Laid upon the jagged rocks
like a sleeping tomb. I don't know how this imagery fits in. I know it's supposed to be a metaphor, but the imagery implies that the speaker is physically dead. Try something that implies you're metaphorically dead.

-But I still breathe. Is the dash supposed to be there? It throws me off.
the wind, The beginning of a sentence should be capitalized. Also, the comma shouldn't be there. That line is too wordy. Just say, "The wind swirls and howls for my surrender."
it swirls and
it howls
for my surrender.
Every move I make-
makes me colder,
but I still breathe.