In the Night

[ralex003]

*In The Night
I like the darkness It's obvious from the poem that you like the darkness. I think you should get rid of this line because it weakens the poem. Just show it rather than say it.
It falls over me
Like a warm cloud Hmmm maybe use another instead of "cloud," since clouds are not usually associated with darkness.
Seemingly unaware of its mystery
It trespasses upon others,
But enlivens me.
The darkness refuses to speak,
But insists on enveloping me.
I kick, I scream, I laugh, I cry, The meaning of this line is unclear to me.
And am renewed by the night.

I like the darkness Same advice for this line as I gave for the opening.
For I am alone in my thoughts
And the night is my canvas
With endless possibilities.
Every night the stars may sparkle,
And the stars may fade,
The moon may shine
And the moon may wane
But the night remains,
A portal to the universe.