Fauxku Choo Choo (the play's the thing)

[ChristopherSea]

Jack used to get hammered on Brandy
Jill frequently have a few shandys
Though they liked it a lot
They have now both stopped
Alcohol made them uncouth and randy

Jill would never take jack from Brandy
working opposite corners of Berkley
they fought over a John
in the scuffle, he’s gone
haggling with a new ho named Lexi

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uncouth and randy is fine
be it from whiskey or wine
but when it's not fun
and your liver's well-done
it's time to give up hops and vine

whining for whisky
weeping for wine
hoping for either
liver, so long