04-21-2014, 07:02 AM
I think this reads pretty well, except for the center justify makes it difficult to get a feel for the lines. Unless there is some hidden reason for it, I would switch to left justify. Also you might want to make use of standard formatting such as periods at the end of sentences and capitols at the beginning of sentences, or else this tends to read like a long run on sentence. Example"
"pinching babies to make them susceptible to pain so pain does not hurt when it comes intruding through the door guns and death are promised like toys on Eid in a land where fists are pumped in the air and bullets fly like birds looking to land on anything her sister became target practice, swung over a shoulder in wrapped sheets, dripping gasoline"
Best,
Dale
"pinching babies to make them susceptible to pain so pain does not hurt when it comes intruding through the door guns and death are promised like toys on Eid in a land where fists are pumped in the air and bullets fly like birds looking to land on anything her sister became target practice, swung over a shoulder in wrapped sheets, dripping gasoline"
Best,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.