04-17-2014, 09:17 AM
crimson is implied in the phrase "ncipient pubescent love bursts forth" of course it is crimson.
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"you have only misused 32% of your adjectives" although low it does exceed the mandatory limit set by soulmates poetry convention of 2011 of 30.27%
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"you did not mix mythologies" Untrue, I mixed Greek "Cronus strode forth, covering his hourglass
with a thick cloak barrowed from Erebus." and Alchemy (Egyptian mythology) "two metals even now are melded into one:
forming an alloy which is greater than its parts, an amalgam that there is no fire hot enough to distill. This is an Alchemy of love, which scores extremely high on the "gonna hurl" metric.
Thus I contend that this in fact far surpasses the revulsion factor inherent in most newbi love poems, and in additions there are some 20 citations for overuse of Thesaurus, not the least of which is using innervation and enervated in the same sentence.
Plus it ends strongly on one of the most cliche saying used in "Love Poetry", "claimed my soul: at first sight of you."
Thank you for your precise critique, but even though I have been writing poetry only two days, I "feel" that I am right and you are wrong, and for some reason you are just trying to hurt my feelings, when this poem was from my heart!
Sincerely,
APoetInLove
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"you have only misused 32% of your adjectives" although low it does exceed the mandatory limit set by soulmates poetry convention of 2011 of 30.27%
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"you did not mix mythologies" Untrue, I mixed Greek "Cronus strode forth, covering his hourglass
with a thick cloak barrowed from Erebus." and Alchemy (Egyptian mythology) "two metals even now are melded into one:
forming an alloy which is greater than its parts, an amalgam that there is no fire hot enough to distill. This is an Alchemy of love, which scores extremely high on the "gonna hurl" metric.
Thus I contend that this in fact far surpasses the revulsion factor inherent in most newbi love poems, and in additions there are some 20 citations for overuse of Thesaurus, not the least of which is using innervation and enervated in the same sentence.
Plus it ends strongly on one of the most cliche saying used in "Love Poetry", "claimed my soul: at first sight of you."
Thank you for your precise critique, but even though I have been writing poetry only two days, I "feel" that I am right and you are wrong, and for some reason you are just trying to hurt my feelings, when this poem was from my heart!
Sincerely,
APoetInLove
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.