04-10-2014, 08:20 PM
Hi mic, I found the poem too conversational. Do you need all of those quotes? Also, you could focus more on image. You start off with a small one that could be elaborated. The annual town vigil with flowers, photos, etc. would be poignant as well. Ask yourself if rhyming helps or hurts the piece. Some thoughts for your next edit. Welcome to the site and all the best in poetry./Chris
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris