First limerick attempt

[Mopkins]

You would think from it’s brevity that writing a limerick would be easy but it never is... this is quite good for a first attempt, it’s bawdy and funny but it can be improved. You don’t have a consistent meter – the rhythm is jarring when you read it aloud. I’d drop the aye but from the first line and try to match up your syllable count, shortening lines 3 & 4.

Most limericks have lines three and four of equal length and shorter than the other lines, this and the rhyme scheme and a consistent meter are what make a limerick. Not bad for a first attempt – made me smile anyhow. Keep at it!