i enjoyed the poem as a poem it does have a personality which makes it hard to distance it from the poet. that said it carried nuances of what i saw as real. it matters not if it's based on reality. that i got that impression made it a worthwhile read...as far as the death of a child can be a worthwhile read goes.
in the main, the lack of punctuation worked there was an odd place or two it didn't.
on the blanket your missus crocheted
with the rattle you bought
i read it as she made the blanket wit the rattle.
if you're adamant about the punctuation, i'd suggest a line space crocheted.
good poem
and i can see how it would make an excellent spoken word piece.
in the main, the lack of punctuation worked there was an odd place or two it didn't.
on the blanket your missus crocheted
with the rattle you bought
i read it as she made the blanket wit the rattle.
if you're adamant about the punctuation, i'd suggest a line space crocheted.
good poem
and i can see how it would make an excellent spoken word piece.