The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2.1

Hello There, Guest! Register

WILL ALL MEMBERS PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK BEFORE POSTING A POEM IN ANY OF THE MAIN WORKSHOPS.

The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2.1

ellajam Offline

Offline

Consensually Agreeable

Posts: 1,325
Threads: 82
Joined: Sep 2013

#29

03-27-2014, 09:54 PM

(03-27-2014, 09:41 PM)ChristopherSea Wrote: What about: ...fills the empty driveway, jeep and mustang repossessed.

The ending is better. '...aping his heroes' (or keepers) may be more striking. However, I don't know the whole story be portrayed.[/b]

A definite switch on repossessed, I wasn't happy with the mustang break, why couldn't I think of that? Big Grin

Big Grin

I'll keep thinking on the end, thanks.

billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

Reply

« Next Oldest | Next Newest »

Messages In This Thread

The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2.1 - by ellajam - 03-01-2014, 10:47 PM

RE: (I want to) Scoop Him Up - by Erthona - 03-02-2014, 05:05 AM

RE: (I want to) Scoop Him Up - by ellajam - 03-02-2014, 05:12 AM

RE: (I want to) Scoop Him Up - by justcloudy - 03-02-2014, 05:16 AM

RE: (I want to) Scoop Him Up - by ellajam - 03-02-2014, 05:48 AM

RE: (I want to) Scoop Him Up - by jeremyyoung - 03-02-2014, 07:41 AM

RE: (I want to) Scoop Him Up - by ellajam - 03-02-2014, 08:01 AM

RE: (I want to) Scoop Him Up - by jeremyyoung - 03-02-2014, 08:08 AM

RE: (I want to) Scoop Him Up - by ellajam - 03-02-2014, 09:51 AM

RE: (I want to) Scoop Him Up - by Erthona - 03-02-2014, 10:48 AM

RE: (I want to) Scoop Him Up - by ellajam - 03-02-2014, 12:24 PM

RE: (I want to) Scoop Him Up - by cidermaid - 03-03-2014, 05:16 PM

RE: (I want to) Scoop Him Up - by ellajam - 03-03-2014, 09:39 PM

RE: (I want to) Scoop Him Up - by ChristopherSea - 03-03-2014, 09:20 PM

RE: One Boy (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #1 - by ellajam - 03-04-2014, 11:44 AM

RE: One Boy (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #1 - by tomoffing - 03-04-2014, 09:08 PM

RE: One Boy (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #1 - by ellajam - 03-05-2014, 11:35 AM

RE: One Boy (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #1 - by jeremyyoung - 03-05-2014, 01:35 AM

RE: One Boy (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #1 - by heslopian - 03-05-2014, 07:04 AM

RE: One Boy (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #1 - by jeremyyoung - 03-05-2014, 12:13 PM

RE: One Boy (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #1 - by ellajam - 03-05-2014, 12:53 PM

RE: One Boy (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #1 - by jeremyyoung - 03-05-2014, 11:10 PM

RE: One Boy (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #1 - by ellajam - 03-05-2014, 11:39 PM

RE: The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2 - by ellajam - 03-27-2014, 08:17 PM

RE: The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2 - by ChristopherSea - 03-27-2014, 08:34 PM

RE: The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2 - by ellajam - 03-27-2014, 09:28 PM

RE: The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2 - by ChristopherSea - 03-27-2014, 09:41 PM

RE: The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2 - by ellajam - 03-27-2014, 09:54 PM

RE: The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2 - by jeremyyoung - 03-27-2014, 09:51 PM

RE: The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2.1 - by ellajam - 03-28-2014, 03:03 AM

RE: The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2.1 - by 71degrees - 03-28-2014, 01:07 AM

RE: The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2.1 - by Ui Domhnaill - 04-06-2014, 12:23 AM

RE: The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2.1 - by ellajam - 04-06-2014, 12:41 AM

Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)