Phantom

[Carousal]

As sun-burnt masses scurried to their cars,
the black front thundered towards the emptied shore;
the lightning tore ionic, jagged scars
across the sky above the sea-side moor. -- sea-side moor? I’m struggling with this.
A darkness drawn by winds and cast by clouds
had thrown its witching shadow on the sands;
it drove away the sunshine and the crowds,
and stormed the castles built with tiny hands--. I think the tide would be more likely to storm sandcastles than shadows

And there I saw her, standing in the tide
that sprayed and pulled and swirled around her feet.—overdoing the image a touch
She turned to me and smiled. Something less, -- Awkward line break
maybe more, than human electrified
my heart within those eyes: it skipped a beat…--do you really need the cliche?
a phantom in a yellow summer dress.

A fair piece that an edit will improve.

Regards Cari