03-20-2014, 06:47 PM
Thank you sooooo very much for your input and advice, I truly appreciate you taking the time to break this down for me.
you are very correct when you say that it seems "rushed" as i had typed it on a whim. It was very rushed indeed.
As far as "timid hides behind Expression"...Well I guess I felt as though "timid" and "hides" were both passive expressions...feeling as though it represented my "cowering"emotion
The breach in trust was the "lies and deceit" in my relationship and love sunk emotion is relative to my disheartened emotional state of mind, i suppose.
as for the rest, you asked "what do i think about it?"
my answer would have to be unnecessary commentary that is not needed to give meaning to what i was truly trying to say...I see a lot of "filler" and words that are truly not necessary for the poem to flourish...
Thanks again SOOO much for your input! If you have anymore I would be happy to hear it
you are very correct when you say that it seems "rushed" as i had typed it on a whim. It was very rushed indeed.
As far as "timid hides behind Expression"...Well I guess I felt as though "timid" and "hides" were both passive expressions...feeling as though it represented my "cowering"emotion
The breach in trust was the "lies and deceit" in my relationship and love sunk emotion is relative to my disheartened emotional state of mind, i suppose.
as for the rest, you asked "what do i think about it?"
my answer would have to be unnecessary commentary that is not needed to give meaning to what i was truly trying to say...I see a lot of "filler" and words that are truly not necessary for the poem to flourish...
Thanks again SOOO much for your input! If you have anymore I would be happy to hear it