Evolution

[tectak]

Evolution draws straight lines that sight scribes curved upon the eye; I might prefer the inversion here. Evolution straight draws the line that....Maybe not. tec
though sinister becomes the right we see horizons level drawn.
Far suns from history illume us, a trillion miles away they lie,
then caught in orbs of human humour; a photon dies, a star is born.

Evolution drops the pin that breaks the silence, turns the ear;
an infant's cry, a thundered spark or sweetest music in a sine.
Tall trees fall in silent places, distant yet by theory near.
Chaos flutters, strikes the anvil; stirrups stir, old bells chime.

Evolution scents the streets but dogs no longer wolf the air;
atavistic traits fade, choking. Stench of man convolves the flow.
Winds that once could keep no secrets, telling tales of what and where,
swirl curled in concrete conurbations; stagnant, waiting. Where to blow?

Evolution grows the man to morph and model each new trait ;
anthropomorphic genes hang from us, pinned like medals to our chest.
Pride, at once sin and salvation, guides us from our godless fate;
sweet paradox of pointless progress will one day stall and fall to rest.

From "A long time coming" first written in 2000.
tectak

I promise to return but for now, just a drive-by.
I know I read you use "wolfs the air" before - I liked it then and I like it now.
There are some metric stumbles as well as some /very/ awkward promotions. For what i mean, sing this to the tune of Modern Major General. Like i said, i will return later.
I didn't care for your use of "straights" as a verb being that "straightens" exists, it reads incorrect rather than inventive.
It contains a bit of inversion (sinister becomes the light) but it is almost a trademark now.

There was some nice cleverness to it. like i said, i will return.

Hi milo,
very sadly I find I must concede on the use of "straights" as a verb. I seem to have made it up. This is a pity because it seemed so apposite I cannot even allow it under poetic licence as it goes against my own ethical pomposity. So, that's a bugger! I will have to sleep on it...if I can lie straight in bed.
Best,
tectak
Sorry cider, I know you liked the line but rules is rules.

---

Tom,

"Evolution straights", "Evolution drops", "Evolution scents", "Evolution grows", for a theory Evolution sure does get around. Is there a Evolution Buns of Steel"? I wonder how it would work if we substituted "General Relativity"?


I though the meat of this was in the last stanza, the rest seems more the fancy windup before the pitch.

"Evolution grows the man to morph and model each new trait"

Does evolution grow? Isn't evolution a "cause' at best? So is man a "trait" model? Yes, could you bring out #13 again and have him spin twice, it would be ever so nice!

I do not give you points for using "anthropomorphic", I only give points when you use it correctly instead of personification, which is not the case here. However I am wondering if you are personifying or anthropomorphizing Evolution? I guess it would have to be personification, as that applies to abstract notions, and to not in any way belittle it, evolution is an abstract notions, no matter how dearly one clings to it.

Personally I think "septic sprawl" would have been more apropos that "concrete conurbations", but I will give you points for the alliteration. There's just too little in the way of tropes these days, not even enough to go to war should the call arise, but then again you already have us stalled and felled like so many cords of wood, time being the only factor yet to be determined, and that requires only a wait and see approach, no experiments even needed.

Almost forgot, is "Far suns from history illume us" a play on the Latin word for Troy? But then again, you were always Roman at heart. Well...everyone must have a fatal flaw.

Dale

Hi Dale,
Forensic as usual...none the worse for that.
This is just a last gibe at the human genome activists who come too little and too late. We are what we have become and it may be way too late to change things. Sight "evolved" the (human) eye so that we see things as they are...but more by processes in the brain than by the efforts of the watchmaker.
Our sense of smell (you made me dig this out) is evolving noticeably in the inverse as we rely upon it less.
Hearing continues to play evolutionary catch-up with modernity as a result, primarily, of the requirement of advanced verbal ( it could have been telepathy by now if we had all just shut up) communication.
...and as to whether evolution grows the man we are undoubtably getting bigger. I have just heard of the death of an American with ten stone testicles if you need certainty
Oh come on, now. If ever "anthropomorphic" needed a safe harbour this is it...If I hear another "scientist" or poncing pundit tell me that " We are our genes..." I will bloody well cut up my denim blues! If that ain't anthropomorphing I don't know what is...brownie points...gimme,gimme.
For "progress" read "pointless"...the end will not be postponed by evolution...we ain't got the time.
Illume? Troy? Crossword clues in MY poetry?..Never.
Best,
tectak