03-19-2014, 11:21 PM
walls, deer, pseudo poetry... aside...
This is written for people with enormous lungs, on first reading I found myself gasping for air at the end of each line. Which is not a bad way to frighten off the speed reading skimmers.
some very nice word placement sinister/right, dog/wolf etc.
anthropomorphic, and that whole line, is rather inelegantly phrased - I like the idea behind it, but back to the issue of lung capacity.
This is written for people with enormous lungs, on first reading I found myself gasping for air at the end of each line. Which is not a bad way to frighten off the speed reading skimmers.
some very nice word placement sinister/right, dog/wolf etc.
anthropomorphic, and that whole line, is rather inelegantly phrased - I like the idea behind it, but back to the issue of lung capacity.