Standing at a lonely concourse

[ellajam]

Hi, good one, . Here are a few notes.

Spat from the shuttle bus Fine, clear opening three lines
clutching an unwanted ticket
for an unchosen destination.
Two terminals between us
and oceans of sky.
No courage mustered for the final goodbye. I'm assuming death here

Your colour dimming now I'm not sure who "you" is.
bleached by the pallid grey
of neon fluorescence and linoleum.
No solace or sympathy found
in transient faces
obliviously headed for faraway places. I don't know that you need "obviously", but a clear, cold airport view.

Aimlessly searching
for direction in directionless signs
and absently obeying orders
from unseen voices;
relieved for once
to be absolved of trying choices. Again, well done, I could lose "trying".

Snailing queues
past traveller's trappings,
fragrance and books and chocolate and news.
"Do you have checked baggage? I like these lines, when all around us is wahwahwah
Did you pack this bag yourself?"
All I have to carry
I carry on myself.

Egg boxed
in a comfortless seat
seeing only sideways
while staring straight ahead
and leaning backwards
into what-if's and insteads. Well described how an unhappy airflight is the worst, trapped with one's own thoughts.

Click and clank and clunk
clouds are broken
wheels are up. The next line implies landed to me, wheels down?
"Do you have anything else to declare?"
Only that until the end
I will always care I like that you declare something, but the next two lines are a little clunky to me.
for my complicated lover
and the simplest of any friend.

All just thoughts while reading, you've done a great job bringing me on that forced trip, thanks for posting it.