The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2.1

[heslopian]

edit #1

His head pops up between
crooked curtain and window,
gorgeous, goofy grin squashed
against the uncleaned pane. Though "crooked" feels slightly extraneous, like it's there merely to beef up the meter, the verse as a whole is irresistably cute and sweet

His home's abandoned
by anyone who gives a shit. Surely they don't give a shit if they've abandoned it?
Unshoveled snow blocks
the doorway, fills the driveway Should a comma go here? emptied
of repossessed cars.

Self-absorbed, his parents cry
about themselves, bitterly
spite-filled, each blaming
the other, reclaiming their worn out
party shoes, but what glittered is guilt I'm going to assume this is a Led Zeppelin reference, and if it is, it's awesome Also, "worn out party shoes" is a nicely subtle image after the preceding bluntness in this verse.
ridden, their laughter joyless.

They kiss his sweet face, declare
their love as they flee their mess.
He runs wild and screams demands,
as all children mimic their heroes. The personality shift in the boy, who previously seemed so playful and sweet, is a bit sudden, and maybe needs a longer poem to justify it, but the bleak message still shines through.

The setting and parents' characterisation are what's best about this poem. You have a knack for creating these wee portraits in words, which really comes across here. Critique is JMHO. Thank you for the read