The Kids Ain't Alright (Formerly Scoop Him Up) edit #2.1

[ellajam]

ella,

"Too young, too young
for this", his parents cry
about themselves, bitterly
spite-filled and running.

They kiss his sweet face, declare
their love as they flee.
He runs wild and screams
demands, thoroughly taught.

To me it seems there is nothing that indicates there is a switch in the parents emotional behavior. At once the are bitter and spite filled,(fairly strong emotions I think), then they kiss his sweet face and declare their love (for him?, for each other). If it was clear that he had run away from them, and they were frustrated, even at each other, that is to say it is the others fault he got away. Then when they catch him all is forgiven, and being together again brings out the love because they are so grateful to have each other and are safe. This also would explain where their anger came from. If their anger comes from something other than besides blaming each other about the boy getting away, the resolution would appear disingenuous.

Also I have no idea what the second stanza refers to as it is attached in no way to the observer. or the couple and their son.

The first stanza is a very good description, however I think the observer should stay out of the scene as she only appear via of the title.

Dale

Thank you, Dale. That is a very clear explanation of the confusion, and I agree about the title. I'll see what I can do.

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Not that it helps because the poem has to say it, but I realized I forgot to explain.

The boy lives in the house that is so poorly maintained that it looks abandoned. It is his parents who are fleeing each other, their love and devotion to the child turned to lip-service. As four-year-olds can sometimes do, he still smiles, sometimes.

I'll try to tweak to clarity.