(02-21-2014, 09:01 AM)Alex13 Wrote: A vivid love story. I love the rhythm and flow. Lovely
How was it a vivid love story what did you love about the rhythm and flow (are they different things?)
poets need a lot more posts under the belt before feedback like this counts as feedback. please leave more than a one liner. /mod
the opening line and the last two lines of the 1st stanza worked for me. i can grasp the reason for the sweat and spiritual love, and how the culmination of sex makes a person a person. the rest feels to convoluted. very little is tied to anything solid. one [love in any poem should be enough] this has 4 i think.
(01-14-2014, 09:15 PM)Mikeodial Wrote: The ultimate connection with creation.
Outpouring love energized,
words incompetently describe,
feelings before or since.
All channels open and forgotten …
our unique moment for body and soul,
electrified and infused;
overwhelmed by physical instinct and spiritual love,
drenched in sweat, blessings and grace.
I AM made.
Bathed with intention of love and commitment,
an image transforms the instant of love …
Into me.
A new being, confirming God’s eternal love,
with each breadth taken.