Better Raw the Taste of Vision (a short poem)

[TheWall0912]

Better raw the taste of vision- I think it might read easier if a colon was used after raw
perception, unrefined.
Yield to imprecision. Not a fan of this line
Do not distill the mind.
Make living your ambition:
leave all the rest behind.

I feel as though some of this poem is forced in order to make the rhymes work. I really like where you're going with it, but I would definitely play around with some of the wording. I generally like poems that rhyme, so I appreciate the attempt, and this is a good start! But just try not to force it.

Looking forward to an edit