02-07-2014, 07:35 AM
(02-07-2014, 07:32 AM)Pleasures all mine Wrote: I found the second half much more engaging than the first- there's a stronger direction. perhaps try some other other adjectives for the inky void? Also the whole bit about explorers to unexplored areas- it's a little obvious, they wouldn't be explorers otherwise, but sure you could think of some beautiful little metaphor like sirens singing- tempting the explorers forwards, something about the yearning and aching we all feel for something that's just out of reach.Thank you for the helpful feedback. This is exactly the kind of direction I need with this.
