02-07-2014, 07:32 AM
I found the second half much more engaging than the first- there's a stronger direction. perhaps try some other other adjectives for the inky void? Also the whole bit about explorers to unexplored areas- it's a little obvious, they wouldn't be explorers otherwise, but sure you could think of some beautiful little metaphor like sirens singing- tempting the explorers forwards, something about the yearning and aching we all feel for something that's just out of reach.