Case. And Buzz

[ellajam]

Hi, swoon, this is a fun read.

I think you got off to a bad start with "horses brown", the rest of the poem shows that you can do better, and the meter seemed off to me in L5, I wanted to say "His bowler bent down towards his eyes", but that may just be me.

I don't know what you gain by letting me in on the case/buzz thing.

Great images, you addressed all my senses, all in all an enjoyable read.

I play a game with my friend where we randomly pick words and or phrases then each write a poem with them.

This is mine for 'case' and 'buzz'


A rattling carriage bumps through town
With dusty blue and horses brown
And tucked inside, all knees and shins
A handsome moustached gentleman

His bowler bent towards his eyes
He smells of maple sugar pies
And something else, a curious nose
Of jimson weed and rubber hose

Between his feet, a case of hide
With trefoil stitch and buckles wide
And from a tag that hangs, a brand
An artful mystery monogram

He hangs a pipe down from his lip
And taps his teeth upon the tip
A lurch and lean, the coach winds down
The buzz, the bark, the flies, the hound

A raucous welcome, snaps a grin
Around his eyes, above his chin
He steps outside, with creaking bone
A ghost returned to hearth and home