Sunday afternoon-- edit 3

[Truerenigma]

Fair points True. I kept it because I cut "in the air", but the truth is neither are needed. Thanks for showing me that. =] Deleting it now.

-justcloudy

This is really shaping up. I like it. Now the real test: try deleting "hidden" in the editor, then click "preview post" and see how you feel about the way it strengthens that verb "exploring" and really puts it to work at the end of that line. What do you think about that?

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I fact I like that suggestion so much that I would like to also suggests a stanza break right there as well,

deep-sea diver, exploring

crevices that surface in eruptions

creating a crevice which divides the poem in to two parts: 1) the characters and the interplay (anti-/pro-tagonist, her and the "diver", or narrator). 2) the bile.

This is a really nice poem Cloud.