Sunday afternoon-- edit 3

[justcloudy]

Thanks again true, and thanks ella for your comments as well. I took everything on board and posted a somewhat drastic edit. I took out the Starbucks/table bit. I think it works better without it, and I changed the title to help with the setting. Wondering if that works ok?

I'm hoping in this one the narrator is a bit more sympathetic to the subject, per 71's comment, and clearer in general per Bedside's. All comments welcome. Thanks so much everyone for helping me out.

-justcloudy