people telling me I suck

people telling me I suck

rowens
Unregistered

#20

01-20-2014, 04:50 AM

Your story is more interesting than your poem. You could mention balloons and bongo burger and other means of context as parts of the poem as valid as rhymes or metaphors. So far your poem lacks so much context that it could be about any number of things. Your line about dreams has no hint of lucid dreaming, it sounds like just another "only in my dreams".

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Messages In This Thread

people telling me I suck - by cheyrn - 01-17-2014, 10:59 PM

RE: Ooh, baby ooh - by rowens - 01-18-2014, 02:24 AM

RE: Ooh, baby ooh - by cheyrn - 01-18-2014, 04:26 AM

RE: Ooh, baby ooh - by rowens - 01-18-2014, 04:40 AM

RE: Ooh, baby ooh - by ellajam - 01-18-2014, 04:52 AM

RE: Ooh, baby ooh - by cheyrn - 01-18-2014, 09:24 AM

RE: Ooh, baby ooh - by cheyrn - 01-19-2014, 02:22 AM

RE: Ooh, baby ooh - by rowens - 01-19-2014, 02:59 AM

RE: Ooh, baby ooh - by cheyrn - 01-19-2014, 03:41 AM

RE: Ooh, baby ooh - by rowens - 01-19-2014, 03:55 AM