01-19-2014, 02:59 AM
The poem has no context within itself that would lead anyone to see these lines:
you were my only precious love
I held you once
and you unraveled
now you’re selling you as chattle
but there was no bell to answer
that was my time
forever after
I still can kiss you
in my dreams
I once observed
a shining sphere
it promised me
to bring you near
as anything but generic. Except the last part which is an obscure self reference, or an allusion to something else you wrote that no one here has seen. You can get away with self allusions or mysterious sounding things if the poem is interesting enough to have people want to read your other stuff or deeply contemplate the mysteries, or even admire something obscure for its surface values.
If you want to squeeze the essence out of the story and have people assume and create things out of that, the poem still needs to be stimulating and well written.
you were my only precious love
I held you once
and you unraveled
now you’re selling you as chattle
but there was no bell to answer
that was my time
forever after
I still can kiss you
in my dreams
I once observed
a shining sphere
it promised me
to bring you near
as anything but generic. Except the last part which is an obscure self reference, or an allusion to something else you wrote that no one here has seen. You can get away with self allusions or mysterious sounding things if the poem is interesting enough to have people want to read your other stuff or deeply contemplate the mysteries, or even admire something obscure for its surface values.
If you want to squeeze the essence out of the story and have people assume and create things out of that, the poem still needs to be stimulating and well written.