01-17-2014, 01:58 AM
Instead of canvas maybe "papyrus". I can't go with
""Books" stands for life story
"Canvas" stands for body, skin"
as that is not an established allusion, nor do you establish it in any way, so there is no way for the reader to know that is what you mean.
I'm guessing "she" is Nefertiti, although I think she only lived to be 22.
"She made me feel nor dead, nor alive.
So close yet so far my tingly burning fingers"
maybe not dead, nor alive.
"So close yet so far" a tad cliche.
"Hall & Oates - So Close", "So Close, Yet So Far - Elvis Presley", "Strawbs - So Close And Yet So Far".
Dale
""Books" stands for life story
"Canvas" stands for body, skin"
as that is not an established allusion, nor do you establish it in any way, so there is no way for the reader to know that is what you mean.
I'm guessing "she" is Nefertiti, although I think she only lived to be 22.
"She made me feel nor dead, nor alive.
So close yet so far my tingly burning fingers"
maybe not dead, nor alive.
"So close yet so far" a tad cliche.
"Hall & Oates - So Close", "So Close, Yet So Far - Elvis Presley", "Strawbs - So Close And Yet So Far".
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.