Poem #3
#2
(01-15-2014, 11:56 PM)oxomiya Wrote:  I remember the time
Side by side we sat
You, me, and the angry sea

A sea-shell tossed back
And never found

I wait for you
To wash ashore
I'm still learning form so someone else may have to comment on that aspect, but what I can say is to me personally the poem leaves me with a conflict intrigue and confusion.

Somehow the poem leaves me intrigued and wanting more information but at the same time I am a little confused as I am not sure if I am reading about a lost love being likened to a seashell, or a literal prized sea-shell lost at sea.

I think its a good foundation, I think you could probably improve it a little.
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Messages In This Thread
Poem #3 - by oxomiya - 01-15-2014, 11:56 PM
RE: Poem #3 - by Blake - 01-16-2014, 04:37 AM
RE: Poem #3 - by oxomiya - 01-16-2014, 04:49 AM
RE: Poem #3 - by shemthepenman - 01-16-2014, 05:32 AM
RE: Poem #3 - by oxomiya - 01-16-2014, 10:14 PM
RE: Poem #3 - by YouAreMe - 01-16-2014, 11:52 AM



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