12-28-2013, 03:33 PM
Separation?
Also, I'm with you in the final stanza. The meaning seems to be, "the dogs, not knowing that I'm actually nearby, are upset that I'm gone. Their upset causes me to reflect on my own feelings about the seeming-absence of those who also aren't actually gone.
But it's not a 1:1 metaphor. We don't know who the lamentations are for: dead loved ones or old friends who you've lost connection with or what? The idea of being naive leaves me, therefore, feeling adrift.
The rendering is also slightly awkward:
It strikes me that I'm no less naive
to lament the absence
of those who never truly departed.
Like Linda, I'd prefer "for lamenting," but I'd take it a step further. I don't think you lament an absence, I think you lament a loss, no? At least in the context of this poem. Let me try recasting the line in a silly way. As is, the line reads, "I'm no less naive to cry over the absence of milk that's still in the glass." What you'd want is, "I'm no less naive for crying over the spilling of milk that hasn't spilled."
Did that make your headache worse?
Also, I'm with you in the final stanza. The meaning seems to be, "the dogs, not knowing that I'm actually nearby, are upset that I'm gone. Their upset causes me to reflect on my own feelings about the seeming-absence of those who also aren't actually gone.
But it's not a 1:1 metaphor. We don't know who the lamentations are for: dead loved ones or old friends who you've lost connection with or what? The idea of being naive leaves me, therefore, feeling adrift.
The rendering is also slightly awkward:
It strikes me that I'm no less naive
to lament the absence
of those who never truly departed.
Like Linda, I'd prefer "for lamenting," but I'd take it a step further. I don't think you lament an absence, I think you lament a loss, no? At least in the context of this poem. Let me try recasting the line in a silly way. As is, the line reads, "I'm no less naive to cry over the absence of milk that's still in the glass." What you'd want is, "I'm no less naive for crying over the spilling of milk that hasn't spilled."
Did that make your headache worse?