Hohohum for everyone
#2
I like the lines
"Sheltered from the jingling tunes
until by text sent through the air:"

The layaway piece feels out of place. I think this would be a better poem without the first four lines. Nice work.
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Hohohum for everyone - by ellajam - 12-14-2013, 07:29 PM
RE: Hohohum for everyone - by oxomiya - 12-18-2013, 12:10 AM
RE: Hohohum for everyone - by ellajam - 12-18-2013, 12:29 AM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!