Glaciated uplands

[Keith]

We pull our clobber from the boot,
shod with cleats and rain-proof macs,
sauna in the morning flask,
gated steps then onto copse,
slurry tanks and cattle troughs.

Sliding echoes of glacier sheets,
grinding teeth crunch frozen rocks,
an apple bite arête,
sinks deep inside the corrie,
whilst ribbons fill in flurries.

Mud slips ragged as mountains run,
drumlins smooth as fresh laid eggs,
moss filled pillows and bracken beds,
fauna threads through limestone walls,
Poo sticks raced down waterfalls.

The wind sits down to catch a breath,
cakes and lake unfolded foil,
chocolate browns burnt carrot on gold,
draped in heather's lilac skirt.
Autumn asks the treetops sway
if wing and leaf can play today.

Hi keith,
A pleasure to read. My kind of stuff. Smooth transit through the stanzas with easily unnoticed but circumspect imagery (the best kind)...penultimate stanza is a winner.
Last stanza L3 is in need of something...but for me, that's it.
Have a care with the comma runs...but you are proficient enough to make deliberate choices.
One of your best.
Best,
tectak

Many thanks tectac for the pointers and comments I will have a go at the edit as not happy with last stanza. Keith

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We pull our clobber from the boot,
shod with cleats and rain-proof macs,
sauna in the morning flask,
gated steps then onto copse,
slurry tanks and cattle troughs.

Sliding echoes of glacier sheets, wish "echoes" could be one syllable
grinding teeth crunch frozen rocks,
an apple bite arête, might leave this comma out
sinks deep inside the corrie,
whilst ribbons fill in flurries.

Mud slips ragged as mountains run,
drumlins smooth as fresh laid eggs,
moss filled pillows and bracken beds,
fauna threads through limestone walls,
Poo sticks raced down waterfalls. like the Poo sticks!

The wind sits down to catch a breath,
cakes and lake unfolded foil,
chocolate browns burnt carrot on gold, might leave out "on" and leave off the comma
draped in heather's lilac skirt.
Autumn asks the treetops sway
if wing and leaf can play today.

Lovely to read aloud, a pleasure. Really wouldn't need to change a thing. Just thoughts. Thanks.

Hi beaufort
Many thanks for your comments I have taken them into the edit. Best keith