Ides of May, Minus Three

[trailertrash]

Let me ask you this question then, let's just focus on one line, what is the value of this line break:

who, sympathizing with the

Breaking on weak words like "the" are almost never the best choice. I would encourage you to consider breaking on nouns and verbs for the most part. See if that doesn't strengthen the piece.

Just something to consider.

Thank you for explaining that, ASP (Todd). Very simple and extremely helpful. Now I know where to begin. Adore the angry sock puppet, it is how I frequently utilize oven mitts.

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Okay, so is this any better? I don't like it as much, but I'm working on it. Like a new haircut, it takes time getting used to, even if others are complimentary . . . 'course I do see a silhouette of a face now - yup, there's his lantern jaw - could that be a sign?


May, I interject
begins the Taurus season
and true to your birth
you have since spent
your life so characteristically -
an émigré, wandering aimlessly
a sightseer, shooting
the unfamiliar landscape
a bull, loosed in a curiosity shoppe
who, sympathizing
with the down-trodden natives
picks out yet another
historical trinket
for his growing collection of nostalgia -
as if surrounding oneself with clutter
from the past could somehow alter
the undeniable shape
of things to come.