Gray

[justcloudy]

Hey there. I'll try to keep this light since we're in newly registered.

the only thing This entire poem is one long sentence. Take a look at it and see if it works grammatically. If it doesn't, pretend it's prose for a second and punctuate accordingly. Your readers will take you more seriously.
that matters
in my mind,

what is neither black
nor white, Is there a reason these two lines are alone?

subtle layers of twilight
sandwiched between
thinly-sliced days and
thick slabs of night, I do really like this bit, interesting images!

the complexion of death
or cold reminder of warmth eh?
in a circle of stones, ...like do you mean a fire in the middle of Stonehenge?

double entendres Maybe an example would be better here. "Show, don't tell" and all that.
forever lost in the shadows
of indecisive erasure,

feathers I found -
what was left of an
appetite only bird meat
could cure, This bit is pretty clever, but I don't get what the feathers are doing here... what's the connection? They're gray?

the pale specter of
once-blue denim and skies
just about to cry, Very nice bit again.

indisputable evidence of
fibrous decomposition lying
undisturbed on furniture, What huh?

telltale hairs, vying What tale are they telling?
for the crown, with a
stealth that only comes
from experience.

Overall I think there's some original stuff in here and it'd be worth chopping away a bit. There's a lot of fluff that doesn't really connect or say much. This is definitely worth working on! Hope to see a revision!

-justcloudy