Feeling of the Soul

[Simatong]

Gorgeous imagery and wonderful subject matter. I must say though, it could use some shifting in punctuation perhaps. Lines 3-7 feel like one single idea, and the period after the word 'universe' breaks that up. Disregarding grammatical convention, a comma would be nice giving it a run-on feeling, almost like a passionate rant... And perhaps a period at "the eyes will never know. Suddenly,"
Another thing I am personally craving in this piece is some sort of stanza break, so the individual ideas can be seen separately and it all doesn't just run together. Fine writing overall!
Hank.

Thank you for your input. I am swamped with work right now, but when I have the time (hopefully very soon), I will definitely see what I can do.