11-28-2013, 08:23 AM
This poem could work too. Parts of it have a robotic or computerized feel that I like. It's good to ramble some, but parts of it ramble too much.
Waking slowly, bruises, hangover, dull pain are companions.
Piercing light through clinical blinds,
illuminate a mind with little else present.
Slowly, my awakening begins,
recollections of events and self produce
Nothing.
That part sounds good when I hear it with a computer-like voice.
One of the commas might be out of place though.
Waking slowly, bruises, hangover, dull pain are companions.
Piercing light through clinical blinds,
illuminate a mind with little else present.
Slowly, my awakening begins,
recollections of events and self produce
Nothing.
That part sounds good when I hear it with a computer-like voice.
One of the commas might be out of place though.