11-23-2013, 12:47 AM
Nice Jenn and I don't even have to undress you with my eyes to envision you herein (_i_)! Why couldn't he have a little cherry pie before kneeling down before your mystic pie? 
To the poem! Some of the random rhymes added to a fun read. The close sounds smooth and is very amusing. For the title, something like 'Insatiable' may serve you better, especially with the double entendre for both his bottomless stomach and your neglected sexual appetite. Using ‘as’ for ‘because’ may iron out that line. There is probably a better word for ‘sweaty’. What about ‘sultry’? It still implies heat, but adds the sexy overtone. Some spice for thought.
Cheers/Chris
To the poem! Some of the random rhymes added to a fun read. The close sounds smooth and is very amusing. For the title, something like 'Insatiable' may serve you better, especially with the double entendre for both his bottomless stomach and your neglected sexual appetite. Using ‘as’ for ‘because’ may iron out that line. There is probably a better word for ‘sweaty’. What about ‘sultry’? It still implies heat, but adds the sexy overtone. Some spice for thought.
Cheers/Chris
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris