I'm sorry, I find this very difficult to read as the tortured syntax seems to serve no purpose. I can't latch on to any meter at all, neither stress-timed nor syllabic. To me, this is a failure of form -- that has nothing to do with what you're trying to say, which may well be incredibly profound, I just can't tell.
This is NOT to say that it can't be salvaged, but the vessel is far too cramped for what it's trying to hold.
This is NOT to say that it can't be salvaged, but the vessel is far too cramped for what it's trying to hold.
It could be worse