Hobe Sound

[milo]

Suppose I said the colors do not blend
together like they did with you around;

the blues don't match the breakers in Hobe Sound,
the ocean's unrealistic.-- would you then

return to hold my hand, to paint the sand?
My fingers shake and bristles scrape the ground

beyond the palms, the fields, the church, the town.
I cut a jagged scar into the land.

You could paint the music in the pines,
and birdsong in the skies, suppose I said

it is impossible to shade these lines!
They dry too fast, and chip away. Instead

I wonder which are yours entwined in mine,
while I engrave the stone above your head.

I agree with ella that the addition of Hobe sound was inspired. The problem now is your meter in that line is off. It is unfortunate as breakers is nice as well. hmm . . . .

huh? what wrong with the meter? misplaced cesura?

the blues don't match the breakers in Hobe Sound

theBLUES don'tMATCH theBREA kersinHO beSOUND

kersinHO = anapest