A stripping puppet (re-write)

[Keith]

Hi Keith,

I've read this one quite a bit, and while I may be misinterpreting the content, I do like it. Here are some comments for you:

I'm picturing the you in this poem as someone in hospise or home care dealing with something like cancer or dementia. That may be off, but I wanted you to know my take as it may give weight, or remove weight from the following comments.

On Friday nights the sherbet
centres make you fizz.--I'm trying to think what may have a Sherbert center. Fizz also makes me think of a seltzer bottle in a physical comedy routine. You see to have slapstick imagery in here so that's what moved me down this path.
Saturday wakes wafer thin,--I like the phrasing here[/b]
silver foil inside your filling.--I'm not thinking of this as a tooth filling, more of at the center of a person.
Sunday hides your traffic light eyes--I like the image. I'm not sure how to take it though. Is it a person who wants things to STOP in some ways, and GO in other ways? And they're stuck in a limbo of sorts
and I will bathe you in a dripping tap,--This seems to suggest illness or incapacitation due to advanced age or drugs.
cleansing now has deeper purpose,--Hmm cleansing has different implications other than cleaning. It's might imply a purging of impurities.
a faded duck floats on the surface.--dementia, Alzheimer's, a remembrance of childhood, maybe

Thinner than the dress that used to fit--This makes me think of a wasting sickness
you make up to leave again
falling into town a burned out clown--A very sad picture and a nice play on the make up (or makeup) line
hanging round some young man’s
left begging by the kebab van.--These two lines feel awkward in their phrasing.
Like that the city turns its back,
a fumbled custard pie has splat
the pavement echoes as it laughs.--These last three lines especially the final two give a sad slapstick image. I like them

Groped smears and muddy nylons--Groped makes me think of prostitution, or an older lady who is living through a decadent downward spiral.
bumper car through our door.--bumper car lends a carnival feel.
Your headlights shine behind me,
bereaved by the moment once more.--Again, a sad sense to these two lines
Changing shades of back lit screens,
shape shift you on soft cushions,
and there I blanket my shame.
I sit cold as Monday comes,
but I’ll still love you just the same.--I like the phrasing but I don't understand these lines, or the conclusion.

I'm not sure that ramble was helpful Keith. You can probably see that I like the piece but am a bit confused by the content. It will probably be more clear to others.

Best,

Todd

Many tanks Todd your comments are very helpful and most of my points have come across so that's a good start. This may need another stanza as I want the reader to know how alone and lonely the husbands feels waiting at home for his playing around wife, who is not in a good place and takes any high she can get, to come home. Strong edit needed me thinks thanks for the help. Keith