A Cock For Asclepius

A Cock For Asclepius

lucentwavering Offline

member

Posts: 26
Threads: 4
Joined: Nov 2013

11-14-2013, 04:32 AM

I really like the imagery and the playfulness of the language, especially the phrase 'cold/like coinage.' I feel like more variety in the punctuation would help make the pace more vivid. Also, the last two lines would maybe be stronger with a clear grammatical subject.

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Messages In This Thread

A Cock For Asclepius - by Leanne - 11-13-2013, 06:04 PM

RE: A Cock For Asclepius - by billy - 11-13-2013, 06:15 PM

RE: A Cock For Asclepius - by milo - 11-14-2013, 01:11 AM

RE: A Cock For Asclepius - by Leanne - 11-14-2013, 04:18 AM

RE: A Cock For Asclepius - by milo - 11-14-2013, 04:23 AM

RE: A Cock For Asclepius - by lucentwavering - 11-14-2013, 04:32 AM

RE: A Cock For Asclepius - by Leanne - 11-14-2013, 04:57 AM

RE: A Cock For Asclepius - by Leanne - 11-01-2014, 02:17 PM

RE: A Cock For Asclepius - by just mercedes - 11-01-2014, 03:01 PM

RE: A Cock For Asclepius - by Leanne - 11-01-2014, 03:07 PM