11-12-2013, 02:06 AM
I like this! When reading it aloud the line "right on the edge" doesn't flow well for me. Maybe just "on the edge"? or "at the edge"? Somehow I'm thinking three syllables would be preferable to four. Thanks ~
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Whoosh (Edit 1)
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Whoosh (Edit 1) - by jdvanwijk - 11-11-2013, 08:25 PM
RE: Whoosh - by Todd - 11-11-2013, 09:44 PM
RE: Whoosh - by jdvanwijk - 11-11-2013, 10:21 PM
RE: Whoosh (Edit 1) - by beaufort - 11-12-2013, 02:06 AM
RE: Whoosh (Edit 1) - by Todd - 11-12-2013, 02:10 AM
RE: Whoosh (Edit 1) - by jdvanwijk - 11-12-2013, 07:13 AM
RE: Whoosh (Edit 1) - by Todd - 11-12-2013, 07:33 AM
RE: Whoosh (Edit 1) - by jdvanwijk - 11-12-2013, 05:13 PM
RE: Whoosh (Edit 1) - by Todd - 11-12-2013, 08:18 PM
RE: Whoosh (Edit 1) - by tectak - 11-12-2013, 09:08 PM
RE: Whoosh (Edit 1) - by jdvanwijk - 11-12-2013, 11:52 PM
RE: Whoosh (Edit 1) - by tectak - 11-14-2013, 04:38 AM
RE: Whoosh (Edit 1) - by gilmored - 12-09-2013, 04:00 PM
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