11-09-2013, 08:46 AM
Hi Chris,
Loved this. Really. Somehow you made it super sexual and almost chaste all at once.
I agree with Emily about the "so seductive" but imo keep "so softly".
What's up with ***on all fours***? I keep going back to that trying to figure out if the stars mean something or if they're just meant to take up space. Why not "on all four limbs"?
Thanks for sharing this clever little gem!
-justcloudy
Btw each time I read it different lines pop out at me. But not always in a good way. Having issues with "adopting a mood of lavishness." right now. I loved it 5 minutes ago but now it feels clunky. "Gazing at me in ecstasy" wasn't cutting it for me 5 minutes ago, but now I'm somewhat convinced.
Dunno if that helps anything; just an observation.
Loved this. Really. Somehow you made it super sexual and almost chaste all at once.
I agree with Emily about the "so seductive" but imo keep "so softly".
What's up with ***on all fours***? I keep going back to that trying to figure out if the stars mean something or if they're just meant to take up space. Why not "on all four limbs"?
Thanks for sharing this clever little gem!
-justcloudy
Btw each time I read it different lines pop out at me. But not always in a good way. Having issues with "adopting a mood of lavishness." right now. I loved it 5 minutes ago but now it feels clunky. "Gazing at me in ecstasy" wasn't cutting it for me 5 minutes ago, but now I'm somewhat convinced.
Dunno if that helps anything; just an observation.
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The howling beast is back.
The howling beast is back.