Lords of the Trees

[ChristopherSea]

Hi Christopher, I like this poem a lot, It caught my attention with it's title and I think you've written a fine short piece on a sweet topic; KIds with their secreted hide-away. I agree that you could improve this with better word choices.
We built a tree house
for our clandestine club; secret?
convened in dense limbs concealed? unbeknownst from below. unseen?
A guardian watchtower
to espy invaders of yards spy
within their boudoirs. inside

granted this simplifies it but seems fitting for kids. jmo.

You could expound on the invasion of privacy of the young girls.

I love the boyish tone of this, good job.
Heart

I appreciate your suggestions on this heartafire! I was just editing and think you may have something I will use. Stand-by! Cheers/Chris

---

Hi Christopher, I like this poem a lot, It caught my attention with it's title and I think you've written a fine short piece on a sweet topic; KIds with their secreted hide-away. I agree that you could improve this with better word choices.
We built a tree house
for our clandestine club; secret?
convened in dense limbs concealed? unbeknownst from below. unseen?
A guardian watchtower
to espy invaders of yards spy
within their boudoirs. inside

granted this simplifies it but seems fitting for kids. jmo.

You could expound on the invasion of privacy of the young girls.

I love the boyish tone of this, good job.
Heart

I appreciate your suggestions on this heartafire! This was cut from a much larger poem. It did not elaborate on the girls. They spied on us too. In fact, Lynn pants-ed me once! I was just editing and think you may have something I will use. Stand-by! Cheers/Chris