mornings

[billy]

remove anything that doesn't add to the poem, use a few similie or metaphor instead of saying words like, slowly etc or add them after words like linger and hurt; it hurts like...or it lingers like(a bad fart)
use poetic devices where you can, alliteration, consonance etc.
I’m Russian and I like to expropriate
all the spaces
that had once been yours.
the above was a good end (it didn't need the 'because')
it tied up the hurt and linger line well.

Why does it hurt so much? Or better – why does it linger, is the [or better] really needed? it feels a little off a suggestion is [Why does it hurt so much, why does it linger?] also, is [so much needed?] would an image work better
Fermenting between the folds of my consciousness, resurrecting. i like this line. it gives the image of a brain coming alive
I wake up, slowly, [slowly] isn't showing us anything a suggestion, would be, i wake up like...[use a simile or metaphor here] leviathion or Lazerus etc.
slowly to the unforgiving glare of a new day.
and it’s not just my shoulders no need for [and]
that feel discomfort
because the aircon has been turned too low no need for [because]
and there’s no hiding from it in my small room.
I stumble from my bed, where my body is sprawled [was] not [is], is is present tense, your body can't still be in bed now you've left it
Diagonally. Because I’m Russian and I like to expropriate
all the spaces
that had once been yours.