11-01-2013, 12:56 AM
I like that you used a Shakespearean model. I've only been here for like a week, but every sonnet I've seen is petrarchan.
I loved line 7.
But...I need to know who you're talking to. Are you talking to a family member, friend, God, lover, ex?
I have to be kinda harsh: Besides line 2, nothing here even remotely resembles meter. there's a sticky around here somewhere explaining iambic pentameter. You might wanna give it a read.
I loved line 7.
But...I need to know who you're talking to. Are you talking to a family member, friend, God, lover, ex?
I have to be kinda harsh: Besides line 2, nothing here even remotely resembles meter. there's a sticky around here somewhere explaining iambic pentameter. You might wanna give it a read.
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!