10-31-2013, 02:48 PM
I like how you captured the moment of you in that specific instant of time. It sounds as if the story has just begun though and I want to find out what you are doing there. This place you are in makes you feel strongly about something with the line
"It must be ninety, very well could be the day the ground is
broken only if the wind will blow." (my fav)
All the rest of the lines are strictly observational.
Maybe try expanding more on the feeling you get from the space after describing it to us so we could get a sense of what is going through your mind.
Hope this helps.
"It must be ninety, very well could be the day the ground is
broken only if the wind will blow." (my fav)
All the rest of the lines are strictly observational.
Maybe try expanding more on the feeling you get from the space after describing it to us so we could get a sense of what is going through your mind.
Hope this helps.