Winter's Despair

[Viktor Vaughn]

Delicate pine,
pins and needles to touch. Clever wordplay here, I like it
Thrust; sharp edge of what
you aver. Fragile lips
lie gently. Pins
and needles touch. These last lines (everything from 'Thrust' onwards) don't make too much sense to me. Nice words, but without too much image.

Headaches, You've broken your structure here
no slumber, just
hibernation of dreams.
Spring benevolence
has darkened winter cruelty, This image is nice; 'darkened' is an interesting word choice
but bleak beauty warms The 'but' doesn't feel right to me
under wings of gods. It's nice, but it doesn't fit well

Vibrant sundown,
the caress of golden-lilac hope
Promise shines through vacant
stares of twilight corpses. What are the corpses? I imagine it's trees, but it's vague
Angels float.What are the angels? Literal? Metaphorical?

Yellow blossom,
tender velvet feeling.
Harsh fingertips, soothing tint.
Memories calm
as dread departs.
Ghostly souls run. This last stanza is better than the others, but it doesn't really conclude anything for me

Too much ambiguity for me. It almost seems as if you're using nice words just for the sake of using them, without as much regard for the image they portray. Personally, I'd like to see it edited but with more focus on clear images.